Fifteen days since I last wrote, and I honestly don’t know where the time went. I sincerely apologize to anyone that has been waiting. I did promise to keep this updated. It is as if I have not truly been alive the past ten days. I offer you a poem that came to me during this time, and lends much clarity to my life.

What Grows in My Garden?

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~Rumi

I feel as if I have been taken over by a few uninvited guests, not least of all Cancer. It creates a lot of business being sick does. Phone calls and appointments and phone calls and interruptions. Then there are the days I feel like crap and spend the latter half of the day just waiting for it to be bed time. Six o’clock, only three hours to go, and so on. No way to live. I barely keep up with the medical stuff let alone the social stuff. People want to see me. I hear you, I want to see you to, but… I would prefer not to be nauseous. If I were at deaths door I would make an exception but I am not. Just navigating a rough patch. I will be in good shape soon enough.

So yeah I feel a bit invaded, but I feel good enough to tell you about it.

Just the facts:

I have on Arimidex for three weeks now and appear to have no side effects. This is very good news as I will be taking it forever, or until it stops working.

I finished radiation treatments to five places on my body on the 10th. I also stopped Decadron on the 12th at the recommendation of my Radiation Doctor. This, I believe is where I my trouble began. What I have learned:

Radiation I have learned can have side effects lasting two months or more beyond the last treatment. Decadron is a drug that should be tapered off, not stopped suddenly.

Between the two I was sick. I had an itchy stinging rash over the middle of my back, and I was nauseous more than not. I had pain returning in my low back and running from my butt down my left leg as sciatica pain. The former I attribute to radiation, the latter and possibly some nausea to the lack of Decadron. It has not been a good time. On Saturday we drove well over an hour, one way to go to a party for an hour. I really wanted to be there, but when you feel like puking it does not work.

This sounds like a lot of complaining, and I suppose it is, but there is an upside. I am feeling better. I am feeling better because I decided to call the Oncologist. DOH!

Note: If you are sick there are people you can call.

I am back on Decadron as of today and already feeling better. I am calling the Radiation Doctor tomorrow to get her opinion on all this. I am getting a new MRI of my lumbar spine to see what the tumors and fractured vertebra are up to. I am taking action!

So, there you have it and none too soon. I am midway through Patti Digh’s new writing class Verb Tribe. I have not been up to participating in much of the online community thus far, but the content is well worth the price alone.

Tonight I am going to the bread breaking, ice breaker dinner for The Art of Earning Live with Tara Gentile! Tomorrow I will spend all day at the workshop. This is the most I’ve done this year to date, so I need to feel good.

These last two things are why I was determined to get a post out today. I will be back to posting regularly, although I’ve not determined what that means on this blog yet. I’d say minimum twice weekly, but I’d like to stick with three times. Accountability in promises she says. Doesn’t usually work for me, but I am changing! I invite it all to my guest house. I am listening and learning. I am alive!

Lastly, I almost forgot, I am having that MRI at 7am Saturday. OUCH! At least I will have some new images to work with

Tell me what’s happening in your world???

From the Heart,